100 years ago today…

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My mother Eva was born 100 years ago today. I have found as I tell my family’s story that she often gets the least amount of attention. Some of it is due to documentation – I have so many of her mother’s and brother’s words, but few of her own. In life, too, she often was relegated to the sidelines. She did not like to call attention to herself and usually listened more than she spoke. Her brother Harry had a huge personality and charmed and filled the room. 

Eva was smart and independent, much like her mother. She had hoped to be a physician, something unusual for a woman in the early 20th century. She was so self-conscious about her accent and other-ness as a new arrival in the U.S. that she never pursued that dream, deciding instead to become a nurse. She longed for a life of adventure and travel. She loved opera and music, even trying to enjoy the music I listened to. She was an avid tennis and bridge player. She loved to drive, and whenever we went on vacation when I was young, we would get in the car and drive as far as we could during her time off, usually two weeks a year. In retirement, she traveled all over the world and loved every minute. She had a wonderful sense of humor and loved playing with language, writing clever poems (in English!) for people on special occasions. She always wanted to help, had high expectations of everyone but especially of herself, knitted beautiful hats and sweaters, and showed her love by showing up whenever and wherever she was needed. She did not believe she deserved nice things and was reluctant to spend money on herself. Although she was generous with others, she would not rely on others for anything. Above everything, she loved her family.

Eva lived a long life: she escaped the horrors of the Nazis and was able to survive and thrive in San Francisco. After some early support from relatives here as she completed high school, she made her way in the world – she completed nursing school, married, became the primary breadwinner, bought a house, earned a masters degree, became a public health nurse, raised a child, cared for her mother, retired, and explored as much of the world as she could. She had a debilitating stroke when she was 85. There were two silver linings: first, the stroke destroyed the part of her brain that was constantly judging herself so she was much mellower; and second, her brother Harry visited weekly and brought her great joy – after not seeing each other that often during their adult lives, their final days together were sweet and meaningful to them both. They would play backgammon (like the tric-trac of their childhood) and listen to music they both loved (thanks to their mother). She died 10 years ago, just a few months before her 90th birthday.

Eva in Vienna - 1921-1939:

 Eva in the U.S. - 1939-2011:  

From Helene to her daughter Eva on her 50th birthday:

S.F. May 5, 1971

Everly,

May the coming birthdays be happy & gay as I wish you, to see when I will blink from above. From there it will not happen that I forget this day, happy that the Herrgott gave me my sweet Everl.

Your forgetful
mother
Helen

Eva on some of her many travels: