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Today’s letter is from Helene to her nephew Paul Zerzawy in San Francisco.
Vienna, 25 August 1940
Dear Paul! What situation are we living in to be able to expect a letter from you? Maybe you are reading more bitterness into this sentence than I had originally intended. Read it like “daddy buy me a pair of pants.” Maybe it’s a categorical imperative or maybe it’s a beseeching request. I leave it to you to figure out the tone of this music. You must know best what key you react to best and in which kind of emphasis I could hope to thank you for a letter. Although Eva really is good about writing, maybe there’s a lack of paper as I could see from the recent content of a past letter. And of course, the now so popular delay in delivery I see how a two week break in letters could happen. I am more than worried about the lack of letters from Harry and I really can’t explain the reason for this to myself. The facts don’t add up for me. Does he need something? If he needs something, of course he should just let us know. If he writes, his letters would have to get here even if they came late. If he perhaps only sent illustrated letters and drawings which I really can’t imagine, is that the explanation why we have not heard anything from my boy for 2 months? The last letter of Eva only had 7 censorship numbers, it used to be 2. Even if that’s the cause for the delay, there would have to be some mail when things are going right. I ask you therefore in all seriousness to reassure me and help me escape the hell of my thoughts. Also, I ask you to please let me know immediately what you hear from Robert. I already know that you have had an answer to your telegram. Nothing, Paul, nothing, can justify such a long period not writing, not even having to work 24 hours a day, which I imagine is not the norm. I also can’t imagine that you don’t have any money for stamps. You could however get together with Eva and write a letter as you did, sending it along with hers. For simplicity’s sake and to save money, I am writing the letter along with the children to Bertha’s address so excuse me. Nothing new is to be said about us. It wouldn’t matter anyway. Our health is in decent condition. If Tillie, Bertha and Hilda had any imagination of how I live, they would also write more. I am so thankful for all the dear and good things they do for you and the children, I ought to be satisfied with it since I would owe them even more thanks if they were to write to me. Everyone has his own thing to do and it is unreasonable to demand that you enter the psyche of another person. In my case it’s probably not even possible. There’s a line from one of your favorite songs, Feldeinsamkeit. This expresses how I feel - it is as if I had died a long time ago. A very strange combination of ideas. When I hear this song or think about it or even hum it, I think about the bouquet of Dürer and I think of a hands study which I once bought at the Dürerhaus. Both reproductions were taken away from me in Rosenheim (1918) since it was forbidden to take printed material over the border at that time. The silhouette of Salzburg that soon appeared helped me get over the loss; that is, for that moment I often thought that I might have been able to replace these items, especially that beautiful bony hand which reminded me so much of that of my father. And so I imagine the hand that used to rest over us and protect us.
I hope I have achieved with this letter that you will sit right down and write to me whatever there is to write. I am giving you the duty to extend my best greetings to Tillie and Julius, Bertha and George, Hilda and Nathan. Prove that you haven’t forgotten us and please reassure me. It’s really, really important. I really need it. With many greetings and kisses I remain
Helen
Paula says hi!
Even in her complaining about a lack of letters, Helene’s humor and love peek through. Hoping to inspire Paul to write at last when mere pleading hasn’t worked, she uses musical analogies to invoke their shared love of music and long-ago musical soirees.
Helene is especially worried about not having heard from her son. She mentions his illustrated letters – we saw the only surviving example in the June 6 post.
Helene refers to a song by Brahms which translates to “Alone in the Fields” — click on the link to read the lyrics.
This is one of Helene’s most bittersweet letters – identifying with the lyrics of a sad song, remembering her father’s/Paul’s grandfather’s hands protecting them decades earlier.
Paul is the only person in her life who would have memories of her father. His brother Robert was too young to remember much if anything. Interesting that her son Harry fashioned his own “newspapers” in his illustrated letters – perhaps inspired by his mother’s tales of growing up in her father’s print shop and newspaper press room.
There are many examples of prints of hands by Dürer. The most famous one appears to be Praying Hands Perhaps that is the print that was taken away from her. This link takes you to several Dürer works featuring hands. The only bouquet that comes up in a search of Dürer’s complete works is one of violets.