Link to Family Tree to understand family relationships.
Today we have a letter from Robert Zerzawy in England to his cousin Harry Lowell in California. Robert’s brother Paul died in San Francisco in late July, just a few days before Robert’s 49th birthday. See July 24 post.
This was one of the first letters my friend Roslyn translated almost four years ago. She had found most of it illegible. At the time, I wasn’t too concerned because I hadn’t understood how integral the Zerzawy brothers were to my mother’s and grandmother’s stories. Only in preparing today’s post did I realize that the problem might not have been legibility, but that Robert in his time of grief had reverted to writing partly in the German script he’d learned as a boy. Fortunately, translator Amei Papitto was able to read and translate the Sütterlin, so we have a window into a difficult time in the family’s life.
17 August 1948
West Bay Road
Bridgport, DorsetDear Harry,
For weeks I have been very depressed and although I have tried twice, I just cannot seem to finish my letter to you.
It’s difficult for me to speak about the distribution of the things that Paul left behind. But after all, it has to be done. I will comment on this in a few days.
Another issue is the annoying family gossip which I would prefer to completely ignore. But because he has widened the circle and because it was even able to overshadow my relationship with Paul, or more correctly, the other way around. Because of that, I will have to make a statement about it. This I also want to delay for a few days.
Finally, there is your kindly-intended suggestion that I should again consider the idea of coming over to you. This chapter also needs a longer discussion.
Unfortunately I am not physically able to do this, nor can I find the right mood to write. Also, there is no hurry. What should happen in a hurry is that I should not make you wait any longer and that I should at least send you this answer.
I sincerely thank you for your honest statements and I understand you completely. I also know that you are only guided by one motive – to give me good counsel.
Please give me a few more days. When I feel a little better again, I will explain myself in detail.
That’s all for today. Also, I send reciprocal assurance of our warm connection.With heartfelt greetings.
Your Robert
How sad that Paul’s death caused Robert so much strife beyond the grief of losing his last living sibling. We glean from this letter that there were uncomfortable family dynamics around the disposition of Paul’s estate. We saw Paul’s 1945 will in the July 24 post. I am guessing that Paul left little behind – from all we’ve read, he made very little money and for many years relied on the kindness of his relatives in San Francisco to help him eke out an existence.
I don’t know whether Robert ever met Hilda and it would have been awkward to try to communicate from afar his desires and needs. We have seen in his young cousins’ Eva’s and Harry’s letters and actions that they did everything they could to escape the uncomfortable family dynamics of their San Francisco relatives.
It’s interesting how grateful Robert is for his 24-year old cousin’s advice on how to deal with the situation. Harry knew all the “gossip” and the people involved, but he was advising a cousin more than twice his age.