Today we have 2-1/2 letters from a friend of Helene’s from Vienna. They appear to be from the same person, although the ones from 1953 look and sound very different from the one written three years earlier. In letters Helene wrote from 1939-1941 (see January 28, February 25, March 26, May 4 and May 30 posts), she mentions two different friends named Paula, one who seemed to visit often. I assume this is the same woman.
When my friend Roslyn translated these letters, I finally understood why Helene and her children hung on to the belief that they would see Vitali again one day.
Vienna 11 July, 1950
Our dear little Helen,
Once again, it is a long time since we’ve heard from you. We have written two letters to you, but they remain unanswered. We have no explanation as to why you don’t write to us or even answer our letters. Today, we actually have good news. We haven’t given up searching for Vitali and researching this, even though it doesn’t seem humanly possible. Yesterday, we received word that he is alive and knows how you and the children are doing. But he can’t come home, or to you, right away. It will take some time, but it will happen. But surely it will only be a fraction of the time that has already passed since 1945. You know his capabilities and they will help him keep up on whatever interests him. We must stop doing further research, because it costs a lot of money, which we don’t have at the moment. As soon as we are doing better, we will get back to the search and we will succeed in finding out where exactly he is. We need time and money, so please be patient, but it will happen. At least you do know that he is alive; that is a lot. Now you know what to think about and you don’t need to be plagued by doubts. He is working in his profession there, and one day he will show up here. Pray to God that this happens soon. We do hope to be able to make progress not too long from now. You know your life has meaning and that you did not go to America and wait, not knowing, in vain. We are very happy that we finally have some positive news.
How are you doing otherwise? Well, we hope. It’s getting almost unbearable again here, the prices are going up so much that no mortal can afford them. And, as before, there is war psychosis.
Annemarie got a good report card, and in the fall she starts secondary school (Hauptschule). The school is not far from the apartment, so she’s got a short way to school. She will go to the school associated with the teachers’ college. It is supposedly quite strict there. She will learn a lot and have to be industrious. But she will push on, and succeed.
Dear Helen, please write soon so that we will have news from you and share your joy.
Warmest greetings from all of us, and kisses from Annemarie
Your
Paula, Annemarie and Franz
At first, Roslyn and I thought that the letters from 1953 were a single letter, but it appears they were written a few weeks apart and have different censorship stamps. There is an interesting blog on Mail Censorship in Allied Occupied Austria 1945-1953 which explains the continuation of mail censorship long after the war had ended.
Vienna, 2.July.53.
My dear dear Helene! Please don’t be mad that I haven’t written for so long, but I have waited for the packages to arrive so I could let you know that everything had arrived and what you wrote - I will dye the costume and it will look good on Annemiechen. We three thank you very much for it and I will still have the possibility to thank you as soon as our dear Vitali comes to Vienna then he will stay with us until he has decided what he is going to do but I believe he will stay with us in Vienna and we will have the great luck that you will come to us again. My dear Helene I can only tell you that it will all be good for you when Vitali is here and believe that he is coming now, he is doing much better. We don’t know anything about his relatives and they really wouldn’t help and also he is not recognized as a Turk anymore so you will understand that he does not want people to write to him. We know he’s alive and he has brought it along so far that he will be able to come soon and that is the main thing. You know his talents and his capabilities and he has to do everything the way he sees fit now but dear Helene don’t doubt then if you did that you would not have the strength to keep going. I see him often at night and he’s packing his suitcase and you know that he can show himself. I am so happy that I will be able to send you the letter that he is healthy and safe and sound and that he has arrived and this time will come faster than we think.
My dear little Helen, we are just sad that you have it so hard that you have gone through enough, but when the need is the greatest then God’s blessings is closest. Believe that. You will know that Vitali is informed about everything that is going on with you one would only hurt him if we would do anything that he does not want. He sees everything better. Maybe you can write to his relatives that you have the feeling that Vitali is alive. Maybe they’ll think differently but I don’t think you can really promise yourself much from them.
My dear, now I will write to you about us. The little one is really excited because she will probably be able to leave. We have found a place for her where it is not so expensive that is out in the country and that’s near Peierbach [about 100 miles from Vienna], and my husband and I will eat very simply so that we can put the money away which we need for our child and vegetables are becoming cheaper now and potatoes and we can fill up on those and it doesn’t cost so much and Annemiechen needs more because she is very tall and now in the age where she’s always hungry and there dear God will help us as well to get through this and I tell you my husband is an angel. He’s such a sweetheart and he makes a sacrifice. What my husband does is not to be described. His love and his thought is just that he wants to make things easier for us so I don’t have so many troubles and he does without everything dear Helen, yes I thank God every day for this good person and for the child that they are all so sweet together and I really couldn’t complain about anything. Everything is good, know that life is quite a struggle. When Franz has something secure, maybe it will be easier to take. But that will come and as soon as Vitali is with us we will discuss everything together and how to do everything there my dear Helene. Keep hanging on. The evening of life will be a little nicer for all of us.
My dear Helene, I must now finish knitting a cardigan for Annemie because then she has something for when the evening is cooler. When you have time, then write and when we find out anything from Vitali how far away he is, then we will let you know, but don’t be misled. The main thing is that he is alive and that he is coming and you can bear everything else. So my dear I thank you for the precious things you sent, but I ask you don’t spend any money you must have to work so hard to get it and we love you just so and we are happy when you write to us because our friendship is so deep that it is impossible for anyone to destroy it. It’s very hot here now and we are going on Sunday morning to the Vienna Woods and it’s very nice there.
My dear Helene, now I must go shopping and today there are mushrooms and potatoes and everything is cheaper if we buy it from the farmers than at the market hall. Many many thousand kisses from all of us many greetings from the Krell family.
As soon as I know anything I will write to you again. Kisses
Paula
[note at bottom: Received 12. August.53]
...that you are followed the night every night and that we have debts. Dear Helene, you write about Vitali, he’s already left there, he really ought to be here by now but everything gets put off, even with Vitali and believe me we are waiting as enthusiastically as you, we are really missing him, because we know that it will be better for you and then you can come back to Vienna because Vitali will want to settle here because it’s been much nicer here but don’t be in despair — as long as we know that he is alive and then there is no reason to be sad or despairing. Maybe we can find out something more. But now we need to wait. There’s nothing we can do because we don’t know where he is. I have seen a few times the way he is packing his suitcase. You know his talents and he will get together what he needs and now I have no more worries about him. Someday we will get there because he is coming to us first.
Dear Helene, I thank you for the packages. Some of them aren’t here yet but that always takes longer than I think. But really don’t send anything more for us it’s really so hard to send something because you have to pinch pennies too and you must have pity on me because you have it so hard too. Vitali knows about it too but he can’t really move around yet the way he would like to. As soon as he is away from Turkey then everything will be so much faster. We just have to wait, everything takes time. My dear Annemie is coming to Vienna on August 19 and now I can start fattening her up again.
My dear little Helen, how much I would like to have you here, it would be so much nicer. Franz also says it would be so much better for you here. Here you would be able to get the compensation for reparations and get everything replaced which you lost. But also you would get a pension which you could live on. You should have put in for it as I told you. All your relatives have done that and are getting it. Yes, I think even when Vitali is here he needs to report all of his losses.
My dear little Helen, I can also tell you that friends have sent me a document detailing how I helped her but it did take quite awhile. Dear Helene, my husband will also write soon because he runs around every day and when he works at home he is also the one who repairs all our shoes so that we can save some money for other things. I must tell you that this person can do everything and I thank our dear God for the grace that I have gotten this good man. He could not be better than he is.
So my dear I need to close now because I want to take the letter to the post office. Dear good Helene, hang in there and it cannot take too much longer until our dear Vitali comes. I tell you as always that Vitali is coming and then you will not have that dark mood anymore and for your nerves it will be good. Just believe in it. All bad things do come to an end.
With many many greetings and kisses I am ending my letter and many greetings and a kiss from my husband.
Paula-Franz
These letters give me an appreciation for the clarity and humor in my family’s writing. Paula writes in stream of consciousness – almost one long sentence with little or no punctuation. Paula sounds absolutely certain that she has been in touch with Vitali. Can we believe her? She writes in 1953 that she sees “him often at night and he’s packing his suitcase,” which is clearly a dream. Is it all a dream? It may be that we will never know.
Today’s letters illustrate the trauma of war — no one was untouched and the effects could last years and even generations. In 1953, eight years after the war ended, Paula and her family have lived in an occupied country. Life is difficult and they barely have what they need to survive day to day. And yet, she tells Helene how much happier she will be returning to Vienna. A wish that as soon as Vitali somehow reappear and Helene has joined him in Vienna, they would return to the lives they left behind.