From 8-year old Hilda’s diary:
Something so awful happened last night. It was my fault and it wasn’t my fault. I did it on purpose but I didn’t do it on purpose. I don’t know how it happened. I was watering the garden and Tante Esther was standing only a little bit away by the porch, and all of a sudden I turned the hose on her. Something inside me made me. She is hardly ever by herself but this time she was. She screamed and tried to run away, but I kept pouring the water on her and she couldn’t see where to go. Everyone came running. Alma ran the fastest. She grabbed me and shook me and threw me into my room. Then she left me there and locked the door. I was so scared. I began to think of what would happen to me if Tante Esther died. Of course I wouldn’t miss her, but everyone would know I killed her. I’d be so ashamed to go to school or any place. I could hear everyone going to dinner but no one called me, and I was so hungry. After a million hours, Aunt Delphine came in and asked me if I was ready to go in and apologize to Tante Esther. I said, “Yes, I guess so.” I was afraid if I said no, I would be sent home and then I couldn’t see my baby horse again. Tante Esther was sitting in a chair, and she had dry clothes on. She put out her hand and said, “Come here, child.” She always calls me child because Hilda was my mother’s name and when she says Hilda, and I’m there instead it makes her feel sad. She explained this to me once. So I went over and took her hand, even if I was afraid to, I just did it. She said, “Child, I know you didn’t mean to harm me. You wouldn’t have done such a wicked thing on purpose, would you? I think the hose just slipped.” I started to cry a little, but I said no, no, I didn’t do it on purpose, and that I was sorry, and she said that she knew it was that way. Then she kissed me and Aunt Delphine kissed me, and I was sent back to my room. Alma brought me a cup of hot milk and said that was all I could have because I was being punished. When I went to bed, I felt awful because I lied. At least, I think I lied. I think I really wanted to hurt her.