Link to Family Tree to understand family relationships.
Vienna, 4 April 1940
To Paul, the reporter! You can certainly keep on with this system. It is entirely enough for me to hear from you even just a few lines and to find out from you how you’re doing acclimatizing yourself to life there. I think it’s easier for the children. You can believe me that it’s easier for you to do that than to deal with all the changes here which wouldn’t be even possible anymore with your profession. If I only knew if the separation we are now experiencing is payment for the happy family life we have had or if it’s some sort of test for even further things. I will try think of myself worthy of the latter interpretation and try to do better at being patient and virtuous. It’s really hard to be virtuous - it would be unthinkable for me if I did not admit that the postal harvest this month has been particularly satisfactory. We received almost every week about a piece and a half of mail, although sometimes of course it was three letters in one week and then totally quiet for 14 days. Then we just get out the folder where we keep these things and we read the old letters again. This flight from reality has become a cult with us and is an excellent way of not losing contact. With the intensity with which all this happens, the other person must feel how one is with him in thought. Are you laughing? Well let me have this delusion, but it is not a delusion. Sometimes I feel as if the children had stayed just a little longer at school. The few weeks which children went to summer camp during school vacation seemed longer to me than the current separation. But back then, one had the wish or at least the possibility to amuse oneself. But this is not always the case. Then there are days, usually when there is no mail, when everything seems twice as hard and one thinks of the difficulty about 3 times as often. A heavy sleep is like a narcotic. Then, after such a nirvana, when the mailman rings the bell and actually does bring a letter from you, then I take a deep breath and my limbs firm themselves up. It becomes a delight to do the dishes, and my fantasy has received new wings during cleaning. Thank God there is no more room for any further outpouring. Please greet all of our dear relatives from me and kisses from
Helen
After almost a year of living in the U.S., Helene’s nephew Paul Zerzawy is still trying to acclimate himself to his new environment. As we have seen in earlier letters, he found it difficult to make a living, particularly since his English wasn’t very fluent. I don’t know whether it was much of a comfort when Helene points out that he would not have been able to continue in his profession as a lawyer in Vienna or Prague. No matter where he was, life would have been hard.
Helene says that she thinks her children have found the transition easier than Paul. I have been thinking lately about what it’s like to be a refugee or immigrant depending on your stage of life. Landing in a new environment could be freeing or terrifying or something in between.
My mother and Harry were teenagers when they arrived in San Francisco and became fluent in English very quickly. They completed high school in the U.S. and had their first jobs here. Although they came with nothing, their whole lives were ahead of them. Their cousin Paul was 45 years old. He had been a successful professional in Europe, but also had nothing when he arrived in the U.S. He found it much more difficult to learn English than did his young cousins, and his European legal training was worthless. The little money he could make was by giving piano lessons and being an accompanist. It must have been very depressing and demoralizing to imagine the years ahead. Helene arrived in San Francisco at the age of 60, having lived through atrocities and lost her husband. She too had to figure out how to start anew. Unlike her children who looked forward to their futures with hope, she clung to past happy times, knowing she would not see them again. All of them landed in the same place and yet all of them saw life in the U.S. through different lenses.