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Vienna, 21 May 1941
My dear sweeties!
Since the 17th of February I have not had a letter from you. The American Consulate has not even let us know if they have received our affidavit. Not even to speak of the strange Form #13 which they should send, and we are living with the crazy idea that we will be seeing you soon. We call that “Optimismus”, or maybe it should be Ob-die-Miss-Muß? [pun: missing the point]. Papa has already left : he is working on getting us our clearance certificate of good standing as far as taxes go. Joy is also relative. I am happy about every piece of clothing that I have decided I don’t need anymore, which has done its job and which can go away. I don’t think that in other days the acquisition of something like this would have made me so happy as now the realization that it is really not worth keeping this stocking, this shoe, or this fragment of a pajama to take with me or to get permission to take it with me. I would prefer to go on this trip like a very hopeful vagrant, but when we are over there with you, we will need some things. Customs audits were always the drop of vermouth in the glass of joy even when it was a matter of a vacation or a trip for fun, but I would be happy to take on these unpleasantries. The number of the ways and running around is legion, but sometimes one needs several days to get passage. It’s hard to believe with what calm and skill Papa has managed to get over the obstacles which are basically insurmountable and how he manages to pass the greatest difficulties with a laughing and quiet nature. Vitali is only unhappy with me because I cannot seem to get out of the habit of waiting for mail and he is jealous because he says I spend more time thinking about Jessica’s namesake [?] than I do about him. It’s ridiculous after 21 years of marriage, but when we get over there faster than we had originally hoped, then that has always helped to achieve that. But I think of you much more than about Rudolf. Last year I think at this time, Eva was getting ready for her graduation and this year it will be Harry. Or do they not have these ceremonies at his school? What wouldn’t we give to be able to be there, but unfortunately others will have to be represent us. You must describe the whole process to us in detail. Paul will certainly take pictures which will have to make up for our not being there. I have started my travel preparations in the following way: I have had a permanent, and the hairdresser and Papa were happy with the results. I wouldn’t have decided to do that so easily if Papa hadn’t threatened me that he didn’t think they’d let me into the USA with my old hairdo. Well that hit home. Without any further objections I let happen with my head what Papa and his hairdresser accomplice had in store for me. Afterwards I was even allowed to go to the movies, which I laughed very hard at, I was laughing even more that I had gotten this disastrous procedure over with than at the movie, although the movie was very funny. It was of course a rerun. Papa is very careful to keep tabs on the hairdo which is decorating my head so that I don’t destroy it and says I have to wear a scarf to bed. I am planning revenge, but I haven’t really thought of anything useful to do yet. Well, as I know you, you will certainly help me with that. At the moment I’m reading a quite obscene book: “Ladies in Hades”, by Frederic Arnold Kummer. I think I will have learned lot of slang from it by the time I leave. The way to hell is, in my opinion, less paved with good intentions as with curse words. I don’t actually appreciate of this kind of book and in German I would, not because I am a prude, not have reached for such a book, but with these too often chosen expressions of good books, you really don’t get any farther. One time, I even knew a whole book by heart: “The Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens, but I don’t believe that the grocer would have known what I meant if I were to declaim: “Marley was dead, to begin with. There is no doubt Whatever about that” and so on. You get a lot more done with “shut up” and “let me alone.” You will be amazed at what a fine tone I can affect in English, as if I came directly from the underworld. I’m done. Cross your fingers [literally, press your thumbs] that I will get letters from you soon and that we will see you soon. Kiss, kiss, kiss.
Helen
This is the 99th numbered letter that Helene has sent since she began numbering her letters in late 1939. She did this to try to keep track of how many letters were making it to their destination. The earliest numbered letter I have is #6, written on December 14, 1939. Sometimes multiple letters were sent together, and some letters were not numbered. This means she was writing to her family in America more than once a week. Numbering letters was not a new thing, particularly during wartime. Helene’s nephew Paul Zerzawy numbered some of the letters he sent home during World War I.
Helene and Vitali are cautiously optimistic that they will be able to get the documents together to travel in the next few months to San Francisco and be reunited with their children. Helene is happy to get rid of everything she no longer needs and imagines arriving in America with virtually nothing. This clearing out, which feels so cleansing at this point, must have felt like yet another cruel blow when they found themselves stuck in Vienna, facing yet another cold winter, even more impoverished than before, and with few remaining clothes and belongings to keep them warm.
We learn about how Helene came to become more fluent in English – reading popular fiction rather than classics in order to be able to speak and understand language. Ladies in Hades appears to have been quite the novel. We see that Helene was an omnivorous reader!